What should I do immediately if my child is being bullied in a messenger?

Take a screenshot before blocking — the date, username, and full message text must be visible. Then stabilise your child, report the incident to the platform, and contact the police if criminal offences are involved (insults, threats, intimate images).

Is cyberbullying in messengers a criminal offence in Germany?

Often yes. Insult (§185 StGB), defamation (§186/187 StGB), stalking (§238 StGB), forwarding intimate images (§201a StGB), and coercion (§240 StGB) are criminal offences. Children under 14 cannot be prosecuted, but filing a report can still activate youth welfare services and school action.

What can the school do about cyberbullying in messengers?

Schools have a duty to act on bullying between pupils even outside school hours, as long as it disrupts the school community. They can arrange parent meetings, school psychology support, and disciplinary measures up to expulsion — even without access to chat logs.

Am I liable as a parent if my child bullies others in a messenger?

Under §832 BGB, parents can be held liable if they negligently failed their duty of supervision. This does not mean reading all chats — clear rules, regular conversations, and a credible framework are sufficient evidence of adequate supervision.

Cyberbullying in messengers: What parents can do now

Your child comes home looking dejected. You pick up the phone — and see messages that make your stomach turn. Insults. Threats. Screenshots passed around. Deliberate exclusion from groups.

Cyberbullying in messengers is not a minor offence — and you are not powerless.

This article shows you step by step what to do right now: what to save, what rights you have, and who can help.

Step 1: Stay calm — then secure the evidence

The first instinct for many parents: grab the phone and document everything. Correct — but do it systematically.

Take a Screenshot before you block. It sounds obvious, but it's critical: the moment you block or delete, the evidence is gone. What your screenshot needs to show:

The sender's username or phone number
The date and time of the message
The full message text

Save the screenshot to a separate device or cloud storage — not only to your child's phone.

Why screenshots matter so much

With WhatsApp or Signal, you cannot request chat logs retroactively from the platform — end-to-end encryption makes that technically impossible. If it hasn't been saved, it's gone.

Step 2: Stabilise your child — don't interrogate them

Before you do anything else: talk to your child. Not as an investigator, but as a parent.

"I'm glad you showed me this."
"What they did is not okay."
"We'll sort this out together."

Children often stay silent out of shame or fear that their phone will be taken away. If your child sees that you stay calm and are on their side, they are more likely to open up — and that is the foundation for everything that follows.

Step 3: Report to the platform (DSA obligation since 2024)

Since February 2024 the Digital Services Act (DSA) applies across the EU. What this means for you: platforms with more than 45 million EU users — WhatsApp, Instagram, TikTok — must provide accessible reporting mechanisms for illegal content and respond within 24 hours to clear violations.

How to report in WhatsApp:

Long-press the message → "Report"
Select reason (harassment / bullying)
Confirm

For serious content (child abuse material, credible threats of physical violence) do not wait for the platform — go directly to the police.

Which criminal offences apply?

Not every case of bullying is a criminal offence — but many are. Here is an overview:

What happened	Possible criminal offence
Insults, name-calling	§185 StGB — insult
False claims about your child	§186/187 StGB — defamation / slander
Intimate images forwarded	§201a StGB — violation of intimate privacy
Persistent threatening messages	§238 StGB — stalking
Extortion, threats	§240 StGB — coercion

Age of criminal responsibility: Children under 14 cannot be prosecuted (§19 StGB). Filing a report can still be worthwhile — it activates the youth welfare office and may trigger school consequences.

Step 4: Involve the school

Many parents underestimate what schools can and must do.

Schools have a duty to act in cases of bullying between pupils, even when it happens outside school hours and premises — as long as it disrupts the school community. This includes:

Parent meetings with the bullying child
School psychology service
Disciplinary measures (up to exclusion from school)
Involvement of school social workers

Schools cannot access chat logs — but they can act at the social and educational level. Go to the class teacher and document the conversation in writing.

Step 5: Police — when and how

For criminal offences (see table above) you can and should file a report. You can do this online:

Every German state has an online police portal (e.g. polizei.nrw/onlinewache)
For serious cases: go to your local police station
Bring: screenshots, usernames, the timeframe of the incident

The police can request IP addresses and user data from known platforms — even if the messages have been deleted, as long as the metadata is still stored.

What helps with anonymous accounts

Real people hide behind fake accounts. Platforms are legally required to hand over user data in response to official requests. Give the police all screenshots with visible usernames and timestamps — that is the basis for any investigation.

If your child is the bully

This is the harder conversation — but no less important.

As parents you are liable under §832 BGB for damages your minor child causes others if you have negligently failed in your duty of supervision. This can mean damages and compensation for pain and suffering. More on the legal framework: What parents are really liable for online.

What this does not mean: you have to read all your child's chats. German case law (BGH) is clear — the duty of supervision means accompaniment and setting boundaries, not full access. End-to-end encrypted messages remain private.

What does help:

Communicate and document clear rules
Regular conversations about online behaviour
If you suspect something: an open conversation, not secret snooping

Support resources — you are not alone

Resource	For	Contact
Klicksafe.de	Parents + children	klicksafe.de
Nummern gegen Kummer	Children & teenagers	116 111 (free, Mon–Sat 2–8 pm)
Elterntelefon	Parents	0800 111 0 550 (free, daily)
juuuport.de	Teenagers	juuuport.de (peer counselling, online)
jugendschutz.net	Reporting illegal content	jugendschutz.net

Which messengers are safer for children?

Not every messenger carries the same level of risk. WhatsApp has offered parent-managed accounts for 10–12 year olds since March 2026 — with controls that make anonymous first contact harder. Signal and Threema offer a different kind of protection through pseudonymity.

Our detailed assessments help you make the right decision:

Each page includes concrete setup instructions, agreement templates, and conversation starters — so you don't just have to react, but can plan ahead.

💡 Tip:

NUNIVIA's free app and game checker rates over 50 apps and games for risk, age group, and parental controls — with ready-made conversation guides. No sign-up needed.